phoenix wright vs santa claus turnabout christmas
by barrylawn
Summary: santa claus is comin to town, but then a mysterious man of evil comes and steals his reindeer but then he meets phoenix wright ace attorney whos got lots of experience with stuff like this, CAN THEY SAVE THE REINDEER B4 CHRISTMAAAAS?
1. santa

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS

TURNABOUT CHRISTMAS

9:00PM

SANTA

"HOOOO HOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" the world shouted as santa claus was comin to town

"FLY DASHER AND UHHHHHH HEY DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT GUYS HES THE EASIEST TO REMEMBER" shouted santa claus flying in his sleigh cause the other raindear were glaring at him for not saying his name and they started shaking the slay except dasher cause hes the easiest to remember

"HOOOOO WOOOOAHHHHHH STOPPIT GUYS OR NO CARROTSSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" he fell off the sleigh and then a mysterious person who was controlling the reindeers minds jumped onto the sleigh and made em all fly in different places and ten rudolph was left to fly him to this dark castle on these black clouds of evil and it had the guys face on the front because evil villin but noone cud see whos face it was, WHO COULD IT BEEEEEEEEEEEE?

meanwhile phoenix wright was in bed trying to sleep through all teh bois and grils singing shitty christmas songs

"uhghhhhh i hate the kids this time of year" said scrooge wright and he loaded up his shotgun and fired at the kids

"HA HA HA, MARY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKERS"

everyone was screaming as they ran for cover from the mysterious mad phoenix at the wright anything agency

"HO HO HO" he yelled at them and he shot the balloon santa claus and it blew up "SANTA ISNT REAL"

"hoooo?"

PHOENIX TURNED AROUND IN HORROR AS FATASS RED MAN COVERED IN DUST CAME OUT FROM UNDER THE CHIMNEY

"WHO ARE YOU"

"ho ho ho, mary christmas- WAITAMINUTE! UR THAT GUY WHO WAS FIRING AT THOSE KIDS"

"NO I WASNT"

"YES U WERE, I CAN TELL CAUSE U HAVE A RECENTLY FIRED SHOTGUN IN UR HANDS"

"AAAAAAH" shouted phoenix hiding it behind his back "IM SORRY DONT REPORT ME TO GUMSHOE, IVE ALREADY BEEN TRIED TO GET ARRESTED BY THE POLICE LAST WEEK"

"no no ho, im gonna put u on the naughty list. congratulations fukboy there were only 12 hours left til christmas and u blew it"

"whatever, i dont beleev in christmas, GEEEDOOOOOOUUUU-"

"HO HO HO-LD IT" shouted santa "mah boi, u must be MAD! to not beleev in such a joyous time of year, wen all teh bois and grils gather beneet the christmas trees and sing beautiful songs about me..."

"HAOW HAOW HAOW ITS A GRATEST TIME A YAER, TANKS TA SATTA CLAUS" sang the shitty 3 year olds outside and phoenix tried not to die from cringe

"its PERFECTION! how can u not have fun"

"because i dont even get vacation on these days, u shud hear about that time i had to defend edgeworth on CHRISTMAS, can u believe it?"

"wow this edgeworth must be a dick making u work on christmas, i put him on the naughty list" said santa putting edgy on the naughty list "but anyway mah boi, christmas is time of happynes, come, let us go together on a ride to make u change" and he whistled and they were on the roof

but no reindeer came

"oh i forgot, they betrayed me and dropped me into your home, hey do you have a phone?"

but phoenix was staring at santa in what seemed to be shock but then he was like

"eh thats nothin, ive been to different worlds through portals and battled shadow army before" said phoenix "ok santa i guess ur real, but where are ur reindeer?"

"gimme ur phone"

"THIEF"

so santa grabed phoenix and took his phone out of his pocket

"hello, dasher, u there pal?" said santa "yea im callin u cause i remember ur name, where are u mah boi?"

there was long silence

"oh ok, hey phoenix u know where the los angeles race track is?"

"yea, i can bring u"

"ok, be rite there dasher" said santa "wait whos that human i hear"

but there was no response so santa ended the call and gave phoenix back his phone

"ok mr nick, lets get in the car" and he whistled to teleport them into the car but they went nowhere

"uhhhhhh" said phoenix "i dont have a car"

santa stared in shock and he wiped phoenixs name off the naughty list

"mary christmas" said santa as a car appeared on the ground below them

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. dasher

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS

10:00PM

DASHER

phoenix got out of his shiny car and he and santa stepped out to the gorman racetrack

"so dasher said hes here" said phoenix

"yes" said santa

"i hope he wasnt taken as a racehorse by the gorman brothers" said phoenix

"ho ho, dont be silly my boi, its christmas, people dont work on chr-"

"SHES A WINNAH!" shouted a voice and people cheered in victory as they won money from their bets

"I MUST SAY, GORMAN B, OUR DEAR DASHELLE IS QUITE FAST" said a voice over the speakers

"DAM RIGHT GORMAN W, THEY JUST KEEP ON BETTIN AND THEY KEEP WINNIN"

"PERHAPS WE SHOULD RAISE THE MINIMUM BET ON HER"

so they raised the bet on the horse dashelle to $100000 and people still bet on her

"wow this dashell horse must b amazin" said santa "anyway back to searching for dasher"

they crossed the racetrack to ask the gorman brothers the owners of the racetrack when suddenly A HORSE ALMOST RAN OVER THEM AND IT FELL AND ALL THE OTHER HORSES RAN PAST

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAH SHIIIIIT" shouted gorman b as all the other horses ran to the finishing line "ITS A TURNABOUT BOIS! DASHELL LOSES TO SNAILEY! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN"

everyone got pissed off cause they lost all their money on that bet and everyone left while the gorman brothers swam in the money

"ohhhhh yeah, thank u mr wright" said the gorman brother wearing black "not often i say thanks but really you made us LOTSA money cause of ur dumbassness"

"yes, your work is appreciated" said the gorman brother in white (ill just call em b and w now) tossing a coin

"yeah hi, were looking for a raindear named dasher"

"dammmmn we dunno who ya talkin about" said b "but i tell ya, dashelle is a great horse, ya shud bet on her at the next race"

"what next race" said santa "all those naughty gamblers left"

"ohhhh shiiiit..." said b

"mmm yes, that does appear to be a flaw in this lucky outcome" said w

"hey phoenix bet on her will ya" said b

"but i dont have $100000"

"ooooo" said b

"gorman, we must consider an alternative plan" said w and they got together and whispered suspiciously

"hey santa" said phoenix

"yes mah boi"

"dont u think dashelles name sounds REALLY familiar?"

"yes it sounds like dasher- oh ho ho ho mah boi dasher is a REINDEER and hes also a guy"

"oh true"

just then the gorman brothers came back to em

"tell ya wat phenix, well let this bet be free just this one time" said b

"so please, bet away, which horse do you want my good man" said w

"hmmmm" phoenix thought "i think i want snailey"

"RIGHT AWAY" shouted black

and then the horses all lined up and the gun fired and they all started running

"YEA COME ON SNAILY U CAN BEET EM" shouted phoenix even tho dashelle already won

"shiiiiit what" shouted phoenix

"that is why u SHOULD NOT GAMBLE" shouted santa putting phoenixs name back on the naughty list

"OHOHOHOHO" laughed b but thats when phoenix saw dashell fall over tired

"GEDDUP DASHELL, U GOT MORE RACES TO WIN"

"wait santa look" phoenix pointed at dashell "shes got... a DICK"

santa slapped him

"OWWW WHAT"

"A GOOD BOI DOESNT LOOK AT LADYS DICKS" shouted santa

"but santa this means shes not a girl"

"A GOOD BOI DOES NOT ASSUME GENDERS" shouted santa

"oh come on, dont u find this suspicious"

"hmmmmm now that u mention it" said santa "she doesnt exactly look like a horse at all"

"WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" shouted phoenix "IT MUST BE DASHER"

"but how we get her back"

"hmmmmmm" thought phoenix "ok lets sneak into the stable"

"good plan"

so they waited for the gorman brothers to lock the horses in the stable and climbed in through the window

"hey there a dasher around here" said phoenix

just then dashelle ran up to santa and said sorry to him

"ohai dasher" said phoenix "ok lets get out-"

"HA HA AH HA HA HA" laughed the booming voice on GORMAN B

"get out of here gorman, u stole santas reindeer" said phoenix

"please be a good boi and let us leave" said santa

"TRESPASSERS" shouted gorman b "that horse belongs to gorman, but hey im generous, lets have a race"

"ok" said phoenix

"but if i win" said gorman b "YOU GOTTA BE MY HORSES FOR THE REST OF UR LIVES"

"OOO NO" shouted phoenix

they tried to tame dasher but he was insane and wouldnt let him on

"fuck, better go with another one" said nick and he got on a small brown horse

===THE BIG RACE===

"good luck b" said w

"kick his ass mah boi" said santa

"my horse is no ass ill have ya know" shouted b showin off his big white horse and the pistol started the race

they ran to beat each other the small phoenix horse was much faster than he seemed but the white horse was faster

phoenix tried to give the horse carrots to speed it up but he kept crashing into barrels and santas annoyin voice like "dats the way" "heere we ho" "ho ho ho" made him slow down probably mentally too

and white horse won

"YEAEAEAEAHHHH" shouted gorman b "you SUCK! HAVE FUN BEIN HORSEY FOR THE REST OF LIFE" shouted b

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouted phoenix but santa stepped to him

"give us another chance" said santa

"ha alright" said black gettin back on the horse

"phoenix gimme that carrot you got" whispered santa

"ok why"

santa took the carrot and gave it to dasher

and he was friendly again

"woaaaah damn, u did it" said phoenix and he got on dasher

3

2

1

BANG

dasher ran past the white horse instantly

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted b "YOU TAMED DASHELLE?! OH NOT ON ME WATCH"

and he pressed a button and WINGS CAME OUT OF THE HORSES SIDES AND IT FLEW OVER THE RACETRACK

"OH NO" shouted phoenix but he considered the situation and got an idea

he hit dasher on the side and tug him upwards

AND HE FLEW TOO

they flew over the racetrack past bs horse and landed and went through the line finishing the race

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed gorman b and he and w lost their disguises

they were actually guy in black and guy in white, asshole and gentleman criminals (theyre from drdigertz vs barrylawn turnabout BITTER RIVALRY if u wanna see their first fic)

"hmmm, this is a problem" said white "but we will be back, as they say"

and they jumped away into the dark night sky

and then dasher flew over phoenixs head and END OF CHAPTER appeared like in paper mario (but only the ones that matter)

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. dancer

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS 3

11:00PM

DANCER

it was lucky that santa conveniently wrote dancers name on dashers ass so hed remember

"wait u checked his ass" said phoenix

"for a justified reason" said santa

they were on the road in phoenixs car searching for dancer when dasher started making noise and pointing at a large building near them

"hmm maybe hes in there" said phoenix

"dasher never lies, lets go see" said santa and they got out of the car leaving dasher in the back seat

they went to the entrance but the guy was like

"nope show ur tickets or get outta here"

"wat are they, we just wanna find dancer"

"well we got lotsa dancers, an u can see them if u get tickets"

"ugh fine, how much they cost"

"they cost sold out"

"WHAT" shouted phoenix "OBJECTION"

"if ur expecting a bubble to come out it wont" said the guy in black (but he wasnt guy in black, just a guard) "now go play santa somewhere else kid"

he picked them up and threw em away

"damn" said santa "what do we do"

"he asked us for tickets, meaning not everyone whos bought ticket has gone in yet"

"hmmmmm i no wat ur thinkin and this is naughty buuuut if it saves christmas..."

they hid in the bush and waited until some tall rich lady and her short fat skrub man came walking toward the place, but then phoenix and santa grab them both and grab their tickets and stole their clothes but they had dog who was biting their asses

"HO HO HOOOOOW" shouted santa in pain trying to beat the dog off so phoenix killed it

they left them in the bush and got in their clothes and went back to the guard

"tickets"

"here"

they gave em the tickets and the door opened but the guard PUNCHED THEM IN THE FACE

"LIES! WE HEARD THE NOISE, PHOENIX WRIGHT"

"NOOOOO THEY SAW THROUGH US" shouted santa

"also we recognize ur friend, his clothes are too small for his fatness" said black "UR UNDER ARREST"

but phoenix objected and this time the guard got blown away

they ran into the place and there was music and lights and food

"ho ho..." santa walked to the food and there was noone there so he ate the hamburgers

"santa get away from there" said phoenix but he got fatter and his clothes ripped off him

"EW EW EWWW" phoenix looked away and threw some normal clothes at him that were his size (his NEW size) and he put them on

they walked into the next room and saw a big stage with lots a ballet dancers and in the middle was a reindeer dancing with them

"its dancer" said santa "wtf, why does this world have so much reindeer labor"

"idk, but we gotta get him out of there" said phoenix

"NUUUUU" shouted a woman who ran to them "NU, NU, NUUU! YU CANT STEAL MY PWUSHIS DANCER FROM MWI! OR AR YU TEEVES?"

"NO NO, WELL TAKE HIM BACK LEGALLY, IM A LAWYER" shouted phoenix

"well" said the woman "ill only give yu mwi pweshis dancer... if u beat me in DANCE!"

"oh no" said phoenix cause he sucked at dance and santa was fat

===DANCE===

phoenix walked out onto the stage and everyone laughed at him cause he was man in a dress

the music started and he tried dancing with moves he learned from santa but everyone laughed cause they were fat man dance moves

and then the woman came out and danced like a professional and everyone cheered as more dancers came on stage and danced

phoenix was about to run away in shame when dancer sneaked to him and gave him dancing power

AND HE JUMPED ONTO THE STAGE KICKING ALL THE DANCERS AWAY AND DANCED PROPERLY, LIKE SOMEONE WORTH LOOKING AT, AND EVERYONE WAS AMAZED BY HOW GREAT HIS DANCING WAS AND CHERED HARD

"WHUUUUUUT" shouted the woman "nu nu NU, i am PURFECT, i cannot lost to MAN"

but everyone was chantin phoenixs name so he won

"NUUUUUU" screamed woman "U WILL NOT TAKE MWI PWESHIS DANCER SO EASILY!"

and he called all her dancers back and they surrounded her as the spinned in circles to shield her

they approach phoenix and shooted ballet shoes at him they hurt

so pheenix wistled to dasher who was in car and a bunch of reindeer dashed at the dancers pushing them all away so he cud run at woman and hit er in the face

so teh dancers came back and gave TEMSELFS sheelds so dashers minions couldnt push them

"dammit" shouted phoenix

"ha ha ha, get off teh stage u DIRT" shouted woman "my dancing is perfection and urs is NOT"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix and he danced to the cameras and presented the footage that showed phoenix dancingly descend onto them

"AS U CAN SEE WITH THIS FOOTAGE IM AN ACE DANCER"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH" shreeked woman and the dancers danced away off the stage with hurt ears at this great contradiction

"ha" laughed phoenix

woman tried to throw a bomb at phenix but he caught it and turned it off and put it in his pocket and he jump at her kikkin her in teh face and she fell on teh floor an he spun around on her body an she span off teh stage and santa ran at her and fell on her and he was so heavy he killed her

"oops" said santa and everyone called the police

but before they could come they grabbed dancer and ran out and drove away

"great im a criminal again" said phoenix

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. prancer

PHENIX VS SANTA

12 AM

PRANCER

"drive drive DRIVE moderfucker" shouted santa

"its ok i think we lost em" said phoenix

"o fuuuuuck, u think they no we did it" said santa

"nah, teyll forget, cause the cops are gumshoes"

"lol"

"ok wheres next to go" said phoenix

"well it says here that the next reindeer to find is prancer" said santa reading the name on dancers back "we shud find him"

"ok but where is he" said phoenix "its too dark to see on this road"

he turned on the lights on the car so he could see through the night but then it started snowing

"woaaaaaaah" shouted phoenix "ITS SNOWING ON CHRISTMAS ITS A MIRACLE"

"ho ho" laughed santa "this happens all the time"

"yeah in cold places" said phoenix "wait a minute FUCK the snows gonna get on my window"

"oh" said santa "datz a problem"

they stopped the car cause it was getting too cold and ice was all over the window so phoenix couldnt see

"well shit" said santa "we cant walk around los angeles, itll take all night, and then all the bois and grils will wake up to no presents except the ones i already did, but they will be murdered by the ones that didnt, good thing i havent given anyone anything yet"

"well we wont find em standing around, lets find em walking around"

so they walked through the forest in the snow and the dark

"its so scary" said phoenix

"yeah, wish we had rudolph here to light the way with his nose"

"hey wait santa" said phoenix "u still got ur sack"

"no it was stolen by the shadow man"

"damn i was gonna ask for a torch"

just then a light appeared cause there was torch in santas hand

"i carry it with me all time, how do u think i sneak into peoples houses and not trip over their shit makin noise"

"o smart" said phoenix taking a spare torch "hey wait who was shadow man"

"he was a guy i saw jump in my slay after i fell out, i think he may have been controlling the reindeers to make them angry with me and fly away"

"wow what a dick" said phoenix

"yeah, who would want to kill christmas like this" said santa

"well theres harry potter" said phoenix "but hes in jail, so it cant be him"

"hmmmmmm" thought santa

after a bit of walking they saw a small house

they went to it and knock on the door

"hmmm they must be sleeping" said phoenix "wat shud we do"

"hmm" thought santa "i think prancer may be in there"

"possible but how we get in"

santa winked and then they were on the roof

"ok how this help" said phoenix and then santa opened the chimley and jumped inside and phoenix followed and landed in fire

"OOOOOOOOW HOTBOHOTJUTOHTOHTOHOTHTOHTOHTOHT"

"wowwww u fucking pussy" said santa who was unhurtable by fire and he blew the fire out on phoenix

"owwww thank u" said phoenix "so anyway whos house is this"

"i do not no, but wat i do no is that hes a good boi for letting us come in, i leave him a present"

so he took out a candy bar from his hat and put it under the cristmas tree but there WASNT a cristmas tree

"he must be poor" said santa and he left it under the bed

"hey wheres the guy" said phoenix

"theres the guy" he pointed to the corner and he saw a guy covered in a blanket asleep

"hey" said pheenix waking him up and he woke up

"who are u"

"im phoenix wright and this is my friend santa claus"

"mmm hmm ok" said guy "wat do u want? money?"

"no no were looking for prancer"

"mmmmm hmmmmm dont no any prancers... nope"

he fell asleep

"ok he doesnt no where prancer is lets leave" said phoenix

"THANK U FOR BEING A GOOD BOI" shouted santa as they went to the door

but it didnt open cause they were SNOOWWWWWWWED IIIIIIIIIN

"fuck" said phoenix "if we dont get out we wont save christmas"

"well phoenix" said santa "i tell u that this is a good bois house, hell help us out"

so they went back but guy was gone

"hoh hoh, hes playing hide and seek" said santa gettin on his legs to find the boi

"weird where did he go" said phoenix "and whyd he look so familiar"

they looked around until they eventually found a button on the chair. they pressed it and did not expect to see the FLOOR open a door in the FLOOR

"wow how didnt we notice this" said phoenix and they both sneaked into the basement. they both went down the stairs and they heard voices in the room. they looked around the corner and saw the guy talking to someone in a magic orb thing and prancer was in a ball of energy next to him

"o ok" said the guy in the orb "so well go find that reindeer"

"yes..." said cloak guy "he should be in the haunted house, noone goes there in december so no one will see u, but if somehow someone does see u itll be suspicious so dont be seen"

"course we wont be seen u fukkin dumbass" said another guy in the orb

"black, the master wants the reindeer, all of em, they give him power"

"yes black" said white who was in the orb "do not worry, we will find the rest of those reindeer for u... harry potter"

"HAARYYY POTTEERRRRRR" screamed phoenix and he grabbed a knife form the table and ran out from cover and attacked harry but harry was ready with knife of his own

"PHOENIX, U HAVENT LEFT YET" shouted harry enraged by this intrusion

"ILL NEVER LEAVE U AS LONG AS U LIVE! wait that sounded gay ANYWAY HOWD U GET OUTTA JAIL"

"heh heh heh" laughed harry and he SWUNG THE KNIFE, HES GOTTEN GOOD! "in my labor prison, i trained, an now im tougher dan even dark me"

"no ur not"

"no im not" said harry "but i can still beat u in fight, and wen i get all the reindeer, theyr power will be light and that always seems to be stronger dan darkness, so then ill be able to beat TEN OF YOU EASILY"

he used magic wand but magic passed phoenix and blew a hole in the wall goin outside (its in a small cliff so thats why the basement goes outside)

"why do reindeers give light power"

"i dont know, but then rudolfs nose is light, and we alredy have him in the castle, but where it is i cannot say"

and then phoenix stabbed harry in the leg

"OWWWWWWW" screamed harry and he lost control of the energy ball with prancer in it "DAMN you, pheenix wright, i will not forgive this!"

he teleported away

wow he can teleport now damn shiiit

"who was that" said santa running in

"that was harry potter, hes an evil wizard who tried to take over this place once and sent law into dark age"

"u tink hes the villin?"

"yeah, but he mentioned a master wile talkin to black and white wich was weird... watever we found prancer"

"yeeees" said santa "lets get outta here"

so then phoenix carried prancer over his head and then he did the end of chapter thing again

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. vixem

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS

1:00AM

VIXEM

they got out of the car where prancer said vixem was and they went into a scary house and saw a guy in a cheap black suit sleeping and they saved vixem

END OF CHAPTER

the curtain fell and then phoenix and santa were driving on the road again with vixem

"ho ho, that was eaaasy" said santa

"yeah lol" said phoenix "anyway next raindeer is comet, how we get there"

"hes in space"

"hmmmmmmm oh i know, apollo has a friend in the space place, ill call him"

he got out his phone

"hey apollo"

"i am NOT fine" said apollo "dont u know wat time it is here o wait u LIVE in this state wat u want"

"sorry bro but cud u ask clay to prepare spaceship to space"

"fine, ill wait for u at the office for wen u come back"

just then THE CAR WAS SURROUNDED BY THE POLIIIICE

"HALT WE HABE U SURROUNDED" shouted meekins

"hey meekins theres fifty bucks in the basement"

"ok"

but then before meekins cud leave gumshoe grabbed him and stopped him

"you alredy made dat joke like 3 weeks ago pal" said gumshoe

"o wright" said phoenix "but wat u want"

"ur under arrest" said gumshoe "FOR STEALIN REINDEER FROM PLAN TIFF"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT" shouted phoenix but he got arrested with santa too

"WHYYY" screamed phoenix

"we told u pal, u cant steal reindeer"

"wahhh"

"uh hey pal ur not guilty of anythin else ar u" said gumshoe thinking about his recent cases

"uhhhh nope"

"ok"

in the jail phoenix decided to defend himself and santa too

===AT THE TRIAL===

"court is in session for this civil trial" said judge

"the defense is ready ur honor" said phoenix

"i am also ready" said kyle rivers "i call the plaintiff"

and then plan tiff came, he was the guy who was a sleep in the home

they made their opening statement

"phoenix and santa broke into mr tiffs house" said kyle

"yeah" said tiff "and then they stole my reindeer, i want it back"

"HOHOHOBJECTION" shouted santa "tat is MY reindeer"

"nope" said kyle "there is no proof that it is yours"

"dammit i new i shud have given dem nametags" said santa "maybe den i wudnt keep forgetting their names"

"ok so anyway we assert the reindeer is ours" said phoenix

"ok" said kyle "i ask the plaintiff to explain case with what he saw"

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

"i was asleep at home"

"then i herd phoenix and santa come in"

"i screamed"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "u didnt scream"

"HA" laughed plan tiff "how do u KNOW"

"AAAAAAH" shouted phoenix

"this means u did it" said kyle

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "no it doesnt because... i was a WITNESS"

"WHAT" shouted plan tiff

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

"i saw someone break a window in the home with a rock"

"i didnt hear a scream"

"agh, there does not appear to be a contradiction here" said kyle

"YEA" said phoenix

"NOOOOOOOOO FUK U KYLE RIVERS" shouted tiff "U ARE A USELESS LAWYER"

"sorry"

"NO U" shouted plan "phenix you have the raindeer with u, HOW CUD U HAVE GOT IT WITHOUT BREAKIN IN"

"but this isnt a trial for breaking in" said phoenix "this is a trial to find the owner of this reindeer"

"BUT U HAVE NO PROOF ITS URS, I HAVE A RECEIPT THAT PROVES ITS MINE" shouted plan

he presented the receipt

"accepted" said judge

"NOOOOOO" shouted phoenix

"phoenix think outside the box" said santa "we need proof that its mine"

"its yours..." said phoenix "ok lets not think "what proves its your reindeer"... lets think "what proves its _santas_ reindeer..."

and then phoenix was shocked in horror at reveal

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA" shouted phoenix "SANTA, MAKE IT FLY"

santa made it fly

"as u can see both in front of u and in the fact book that says only santa has reindeer that fly..." said phoenix and he pointed "THIS MEANS IT MUST BE SANTAS"

"AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed tiff "BUT ITS MINE NOW"

"NO IT WAS STOLEN" said phoenix

"but i have receipt wich means i bought it" said tiff

"the receipt is not fake as weve proven" said kyle

"NOOOOOO" shouted phoenix "(ok no more noooos i gotta figure this shit out)"

he did the thought train of speed thing tat is very nesessary especially the ones in the monster turnabout and turnbout time travel "i prove that its defintly vixem but he has proof that cant be forged dat he didnt steal it wich meens **SOMEONE ELSE STOLE IT** but where can i find out who oh right **THE SELLERS NAME IS ON THE RECEET** "

phoenix checked the receipt and saw it was sold by "guy in white"

"but wait this tiff guy is reely rude and also **PLAN TIFF WEARS BLACK** which means **PLAN TIFF IS GUY IN BLACK** but whats this mean"

phoenix thought about it for a second and tehn he solved it

 **WHITE SOLD THE REINDEER TO BLACK TO GET THE RECEIPT**

"HA" shouted phoenix "i no how u got that receipt"

"no u dont phoenix" said tiff "O FUCK THAT SOUNDED SO SUSPICIOUS GOD DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN"

phoenix slamm the desk "the way u got the receipt... was u got ur FRIEND to sell it to u"

"AH" shouted kyle

"yes" said nick "u and ur frend stole it, then u sold it to urselfs to make the receet appear"

"but who is this friend" said judge

"he is none other dan guy in white... because plan tiff is GUY IN BLACK"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY PERFECT PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN" shouted plan who was guy in black exposed

and kyle lost his hat and was shown to be guy in white

"this is quite bad" said white

"THIS MEANS" shouted phoenix "THAT THE RECEIT MEANS NOTHING, U TWO STOLE IT"

"no please" said white "perhaps we did not"

"then wares the receipt taht u bought it"

white presented a receipt

but it was from guy in black, because HE WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE IT (cause whites a gentleman)

and black didnt have another receipt so they ran

"WE FAILED U HARRY POTTER" shouted them

"woah ok..." said santa "but wait didnt they break in two"

"nah thats no ones house, its realy old and scary and noone owns it except maybe ghosts" said phoenix "black and white just pretend to live their to arrest us"

"very smart" said santa

"ok" said judge "so tis trial is over, i rule in favor of teh defense"

so phoenix LEGALLY got vixem and the trial ended and they drove out to the cosmos space center to go to space

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. comet

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS

2:00AM

COMET

"ok so we no where comet is" said santa

"yea hes in space" said phoenix

"but why we in car, we cant get there with car"

then phoenix got out of the car

"we hav come to teh place where we can get to space usin somethin else"

they walked to the building and someone was waiting for them

"welcome..." said an old guy "my name is YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRIIIIII COOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMOOOOOOOS, THE GREAT DIRECTER OF COSMS SPACE CENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER" he swung his hand all over the sky to make himself impressive

"woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah yuri cosmos" said santa "ur tat guy"

"yes, i am that guy"

"uve been on the naughty list a lot"

"W-WHAT" shouted yuri "I ASSURE U, I GET PRESENTS EVERY YEAR"

"from ur fans"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT THE SHIIIT" shouted cosmos spinning around on his wheels

"ohai phoenix" said clay who landed next to them in specship "apollo told me u wer comin, were goin to space climb in"

they got in and the ship was like "3 2 1" and it went into space

"so were are we goin" said clay

"i saw a bunch of comets goin that way erlier" said santa pointing in a way

"ok"

they went in that way but turns out they were normal comets

"fuck" said phoenix

they went to turn wen suddenly A PLANET SMASHED INTO THEM

"AAAAAAH" said phoenix

"fuck man that planet moves fast" said santa "wat is it tho"

they got up and saw a place that looked like earth but backwards

"hey" said a man "welcome to htrae"

"tray?"

"htrae"

"o ok, gotta but teh spanish accent in it" said phoenix

"idk what spanish is but i know hsinaps (pronounced shin aps)" said man "wait spanish sounds earthish... ARE U SECRET AGENTS FROM EARTH"

"no"

"POLICE" shouted man and he called the police and they all surrounded them

"SURRONDER" shouted police (thats not a typo thats how they say it on htrae) "DO U WANT US TO SHOOT?"

"NO" shouted phoenix

"OK"

they shot, cause no on htrae means yes on earth

"owwwwwww" shouted phoenix in pain as he fell

"HA HA HA" laughed police and they left him to die (htrae justice)

and then santa reappeared with a ping

"are u ok"

but there was no response, so santa gave him life for christmas

"wow tanks best presnt evr" said phoenix "aniway we gotta get off"

"but how" said santa

"hmmm dat is gud question" said phoenix "we gotta think about this"

so they thought and santa got idea

"hey how about we fly"

"but with what tho"

"a REINDEER"

"oooo damn" said phoneix "ok, comet shud be up here somewhere, lets go get him"

so they looked around htrae planet for about idk a long time

on their search they went into a shop to get food

"hmmm they got a gameshop here" said phoenix

"ha ha ha" laughed santa

"dont u go ho ho ho"

"yea, but ha is for stuff i find dumb, and on tis planet they got lots of sonic boom games, i thoght peeple buyin OUR ones were dumb"

"lmao" said phoenix "wow this htrae must have really shitty game... OMFG SANTA LOOK THERE ON THE SHELF"

he turned his head with his hands to the right shelf and he saw LOCALIZED DGS, called "THE GREAT TURNABOUTS OF YANOSUKE RAITOU"

"wat, they using dowolf names?" shouted phoenix "whatever, at least we got it, now lets get it to earth"

but then the capcom police came and took it away

"yknow somehow i expected that to happen, almost like this has happened to me in another world" said phoenix

"thats rediculous mah boi, now lets go back to finding comet"

they left after eating and went south, like birds. eventually they made it to the south pole (which had a sign saying "elop htuos" (pronounced "elop thuos") next to it) and there was a reindeer there

"hey santa u tink thats him" said phoenix

"hmmm yes i am curtain" said santa

they ran to the raindeer

"hello people i am comment" said comment

"YES" said santa "ok lets take him back to earth"

they got on comments back and flew off htrae and into space

however after they got far away from htrae comment THREW TEM OFF HIS BACK

"OWWWWWW WTF MAN" shouted phoenix but comment beat teem both up and they floated all over space as they got hit around cause they were in space

"ha" said comment "i said my name was COMMENT not COMET, YOU GUYS ARE SO DUMB"

yeah, i mean even I said his name was comment, u guys are so dumb too (unless u wer smarter than phoenix, if u wer gud job ur not dumb)

"NOW" shouted comment "time to kill u both, as i was hired by harry potter all along!"

comment prepared to fire a lazer but then phoenix heard jingle bells and suddenly ANOTHER REINDEER WAS THERE AND THERE WAS A KID WITH GLASSES RIDING HIM

the reindeer beat comment down through space and the glasses kid burned it with magic

"U SAVE US" shouted santa

"wait" said phoenix "HARRY!"

"yes" said harry "i am yrrah rettop, the htrae version of harry potter, im a good guy"

"I DONT CARE, HARRY IS HARRY" shouted phoenix and he threw him to the sun like in that shitty abridged phoenix wright series

"isnt that murder" said santa

"NO, ITS SACRIFICE TO THE RELIGION" shouted phoenix

"o fuck, this space thing is making u unintelligent, lets get u back to earth

so they got on comets back and flew back to earth

===MEANWHILE===

"dammit" said harry "he killed my htrae version, now i cant see through his eyes any more"

because he cast a spell on htrae him to make him see through his eyes in a crystal ball, yrrah really is a good guy but he didnt no bout the spell so helping phoenix would let him spy on him rip THAT plan

"that is not good" said white "what will the master say"

"he wont say anything because im harry and im his favorite" said harry "anyway the next reindeer is cupid, u know what to do?"

"yes"

"good"

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. cupid

PHOENIX VS SANTA

3:00 AM

CUPID

they landed with comet rite as it became 3am, wow they werent that long

"ok so wheres cupid" said phoenix

"strange" said santa "comet doesnt no where he is"

"damn, being in space must have fucked with his reindeer magic" said phoenix "but how do we find cupid"

"hmmmm" thought santa "i dont no"

"wait" said phoenix "somethings strange, why arent those stupid children out singing cristmas songs?"

"because theyr asleep so santa doesnt arrest them"

"no way, lots of kids sing out here anyway just to annoy me"

"well they are naughty tell me their names"

"if i had their names they wudnt be around any more" said phoenix "anyway lets go look for em"

they got in the car and drove back to the office, its not too far from the space center anyway

"ok, so we gotta find cupid, but where is he" said phoenix at the office as he watered charley "merry christmas charley u get extra water"

"hmmm, i was hoping u wud have peeple to help figure dis out" said santa lookin for people

"wait wat" said phoenix "didnt apollo say hed wait for me wehn i come back to earth"

"idk cudnt hear"

"he did where is he"

he looked out the window and saw a light at the gatewater hotel

they went over there and opened the door AND SAW IT WAS VALENTINES DAY ON CHRISTMAS!

"whwhwhwhwhwhwhaaaaaaaaat" shouted phoenix as he shoved through the lovers and saw apollo havin sex with athena

"APOLLO ATHENA WAT ARE U DOIN" shouted phoenix

"fuck off phoenix" said apollo "u do not no teh power of PHYSICAL LOVE! or any love really"

"HEY FUCK U" shouted phoenix

"hooo? who ar tehs two"

"their people who work for me apollo justice and athena cykes"

"HOOOO?!" shouted santa "STOP THAT, GOD SAYS U CAN ONLY FUK UR WIFE"

"wat no he doesnt does he" said apollo

"YEA HE DOES, IM HIS BEST FREND, STOP IT AT ONCE!"

"fuck it were fucking anyway" said athena

"HO HO HO, UR GETTING NOTHING THIS CHRISTMAS, HO"

"santa calm down" said phoenix "well stop them"

"BUT HO? i mean HOW? they are blind to the GOD"

"ok, dont worry, i no wat to do"

phoenix got out his phone

"hey jesus get over here"

just then, kurain flights, the plane service of the kingdom of kurain landed outside and a bearded guy came in

"DETECTIVE JESUS IS HERE" he shouted as he played music with his damlan

but noone cared

"ohai jesus, happy birthday" said phoenix

"its not my birtday til tomorrow but thanks" said jesus "so what u need bro?"

"stop apollo and athena"

"sorry why wud i do that" said jesus

"BECAUSE THEY DISOBEYING MY FRIEND" shouted santa but then an arrow appeared in his ass

AND THEN HE GRABBED PHOENIX DRAGGED HIM TO THE FLOOR AND KISSED HIM, not under the missleto either

"ME LOVE U PHOTIX"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH GET OFF" screamed phoenix "or at leest shave ur beerd, thers food crums all over it"

he didnt tho

"JESUS HELP"

"why, tis is tru love"

"NO ITS NOT HELP"

"ok"

jesus played a song of sleeping and everyone fell asleep

phoenix was the first to wake up and he pushed santa off

"dammit" said phoenix "ok lets leave santa here, i gotta figure out why everyone loves each other"

"what are u doing anyway" said jesus

"i gotta find santas reindeer to save christmas"

"a REINDEER" shouted jesus "i saw a bunch of angels carry one into the sky in handcuffs

"WAT" shouted phoenix "take me there"

"ok"

he strum the damlan and then he and phoenix were in the sky and saw cupid arrested

and god turned to them

"welcome... phoenix wright"

"...god?" said phoenix

"yes."

"give us cupid"

"no." said god "he made gay cuples and sex before marrying, he is a sinner"

"wait what"

"yeah, so were arresting him"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "love is beutiful thing, and has NO limits"

"AAAAAAAGH" shouted god "but but"

"no buts" said phoenix "teh fact taht u cant accept such buty proves that u... are NOT GOD, U ARE ACTUALLY..."

and he pulled off the hat covering gods eyes and it was GREATFAN

"WHAT ARE U DOING HERE" shouted phoenix

"i was paid by harry potter to capture the reindeer" said greatfan "but ur too late"

and they were too late because cupid shot an arrow at greatfan but guy in black suddenly appeared and caught it and threw it back and hit cupid in the face

AND THEN CUPID WAS IN LOVE WITH BLACK

"HA HA HA" shouted black "YEEEEES, CUPID, I LOVE U TOO, TAT MEANS A LOT COMIN FROM ME"

and then a flying blue car drove up to them and the door opened and guy in white and harry potter were there

"i politely request that black and his lover please enter the back seats" said white and they both ran into the back and the car flew away

"ha" laughed harry to phoenix "u guys arent shit now"

"NOOOOOOO" shouted phoenix "JESUS WE GOTTA CHASE EM"

"let them go" said jesus

"WHAT, BUT WE GOTTA CATCH THEM"

"we cant catch that flying car phoenix, well have to save cupid some other time, for now lets go back to erth, hopefully cupids spell wore off after it was used on himself"

"ugh fine" said phoenix "but ill catch them, even if its just to beat harry"

===EARTH===

"U LET THEM GET AWAYYYY" shouted santa

"i am sorry"

"NO SORRY" shouted santa "IM PUTTING UR NAME ON THE NAUGHTY LIST ONE BILLION TIMES"

"jesus man, u have to check that thing twice u know" said phoenix

"and ur wastin paper, save the trees bro" said jesus

"but i put it on computer"

"ok fare enough"

"lissen santa, if i save cupid and teh other reindeer take my name off pls"

"fine" said santa "hey uhhh whats those black clouds over there"

they turned to see black clouds coming with a castle on top of them

and they heard thunder, a storm was coming

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. donder

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS

4:00AM

DONDER

BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM went the thunder

"hey bros u think harry is responsible this storm" said phoenix

"why is everything harrys fault" said santa

"because FUCK harry, dats why"

"o i c" said jesus

"but mr wright shudnt we like stop this storm" said apollo who stopped fuking athena

"yea" said phoenix "its christmas, the only storms allowed to happen are SNOW storms"

just then THUNDER HIT THE ROOF

"AAAAAAH" screamed all the no longer lovers as they ran home to cover from the storm until only phoenix and santa and jesus and apollo were left

"uhhh wow fuck this" said apollo

"yea im goin back to kurain" said jesus

"TAKE ME WITH U" shouted apollo and they both went back to kurain

"wow tanks apollo you athenafucker" said phoenix

"ok so we stopping harry or what" said santa

"yeah"

they got in the car and drove to the clouds and while they were driving phoenix got out his phone

"hey layton"

"what is it, kinda want to rest in piece pal"

"how did u do all that crazy shit in the unwound future when u got that shitty car onto that fortress thing"

"skillz"

"k tanks"

phoenix used skillz and then the car jumped off a ramp and landed on a cloud

"wat thats not how it works" said santa

"gess these... MUSTNT BE CLOUDS?"

"wooooah" said santa "but wheres this thunder coming from"

"god question"

they walked to the castle but the entrance was blocked by a strange red light

"how we get in" said phoeix

"hmmm i dont know" said santa "but i dont tink cupid or uhhhh the next one are in there so we shud be fine"

"but its harrys castle probably, i wanna kill him"

"dont worry, once we get like 8 reindeer we can break this barrier thing because plot"

"ok, now we REALLY gotta find these raindeers"

they went around to the back of the castle and found a pipe goin inside the clouds

they went down and saw black and white in front of a machine and there was a reindeer inside

and cupid was at blacks feet licking em

"stupid fucking moose thing" said black "anyway white hows teh dunder power working"

"aha" said santa quietly "that was his name, donder"

"wat but he said dunder" said phoenix

"lol hes wrong"

"hmm yes, it seems that dunders thunder energy is quite weak"

"HA" laughed black "THIS is weak, daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn this guy must got POWER, AND WE NEED MOR OF IT"

"ok"

white turned the switch and they heard more thunder outside

a screen lit up and showed the tower of los angeles get blown up by litening

"AAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA" laughed black "WE WILL RULE LOS ANGELES"

"what is the point, though, if we are only going to blow everything up?"

"i dont no, harry just says stuff about "we gonna make a new world without phoenix wright"

"thats not much"

"phoenix is the most annoying hero ever, getting rid of him makes anything worth it"

"true"

"HEY" shouted phoenix "I HEARD U AGREE TO THAT WHITE"

"ah no, i was... hm, im not sure what i meant by that, i apologize" said white "hey wait, how are you here?"

"oh fuck"

"GET HIM" shouted black

they ran at phoenix and santa with weapons and they ran out

"they usin my donders powers for EVIL" shouted santa "why am i even running"

santa ran back to fite but he got poked in the fat with a stick and it hurt

"OWWWWWWW" he shouted and black laughed

"that isnt most funny, black" said white

"WHATEVER IT MADE ME LAUGH"

"dammit" said phoenix cause santa was down "howm i gonna beat u"

"u wont"

"oh"

black and white walked him into a corner and raised their weapons

but then CUPID JUMPED ON BLACK AND KISS HIM

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed black "GET HIM OFF ME"

"come now, cupid." said white gently pushing him off

in that second phoenix grabbed weapon from whites hands and golfed them both off the clouds

"WEEEEEEL BE BACK SOOOOME DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" screamed black

and cupid, separated from his love, lost his curse and he was normal again

"o tank god" said santa "ok pheenix ill take ur name off the naughty list"

"ok have fun doin that a billion times"

"ok" said santa and he ctrl+a and hit delete

but that deleted the entire naughty list

"FUCK" shouted santa "ok, presents for everyone this year, even the wet bandits"

"uhhh u sure its a good idea to give em presents"

"yeah"

"ok, hope they didnt wish for anything damongantescapsfromprison-y"

so they ran to the machine and broke the control panel, fortunately it only blew up donald trumps house and thats it (not the white house, cause paul atishon is president after turnabout US elections)

and then they broke the glass even tho the sign said "DO NOT TOUCH" and got donder out of there and the thunder stopped

"YEEEES" shouted phoenix "were saved, especially now that trumps ded"

"THANKS HARRY" shouted santa

they got off the black clouds which landed on the ground now that they lost their energy and stopped flying

"ok, now we can easily go back to the castle wen we got the last reindeer" siad phoenix

he put donder and cupid in the back seat and i end of chaptered the chapter

===MEANWHILE IN PRISON===

"harry?" squeaked marv "come find me harry im scaaaared"

"hey marv" said harry (NOT potter) suddenly appearing

"the kid is back harry!" said marv

"hmmm o well" said marv "even with the kid back, i think this is gonna be a really merry christmas somehow..."

TO BE CONTINUED


	9. blixem

PHONIX VS SANTA

5:00AM

BLIXEM

even tho they blew up the clouds, there was still lightning clouds floating around zapping people in the head making their heads go woooooahhhhwooooooahhhhWOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH in shock and they make faces like O_O

"wat, why there still litening"

"it must be blixems power"

"wat i thought his name was blitzen"

"nah i have blixem written here" said santa "u people of america sure are dumb"

"we voted for trump in one timeline so yea were pretty dumb"

"shit really?" said santa "WAIT, that gives me an idea"

they drove down to the white house and paul atishon opened the door

"u fucking idiots, its 5am, if santa nos im awake i wont get free- ohai santa"

"hello" said santa "heh heh doooont worry mr atishon i no uve been a good boi this year, ull get ur presents (mainly cause i deleted the naughty list by accident"

"YES" said atishon "i love free stuff. please remember, i want a giant tv that fits the entire perimeter of the largest wall in my house no bigger no smaller"

"but howll u get it there"

"u can magic it on the wall when delivering it, also it must be made of gold, and it must value more than $5000000"

"uhhhh ok" said santa "anyway u wont get that unless u help us"

"heh heh, what is it that u want"

"blixems power may be being abused to make litening, we need ur power to fite that"

"who is blixem"

"uuuuugh blitzen"

"AHHH, ILL HELP U AT ONCE"

paul let them in and revealed to them his secret lightning fighters

"in case stuff like this happens u cna never be too prepared" said paul

"thanks atishon" said phoenix "i promise well get u ur present before u wake up tomorrow"

"GREAT" shouted atishon "just like how i will make kurain great again"

atishon went back to sleep and phoenix santa and the guys in armor and ran outside and started shooting the shit out of the guys in the clouds of litening (they were kinda like that lakitu guy in NSMB world 7 if u even got to that place)

"damn where are these guys even coming from" said santa

as he asked that phoenix noticed a car flying above them

"HARRY POTTER"

phoenix charged his legs and JUMPED TO WHERE THE CAR WAS (like layton did in those funny comics about how he got the hint coin on the moon in layton vs wright)

but then phoenix hit his head on the bottom and it made loud noise

and harry heard this noise and grabbed him and threw him into the car and it drove away with him, after harry jumped out of the car and landed on the ground

"hello, santa..." said harry

===WHERE THE CAR WENT===

phoenix woke up in jail

"WHAT HAPPENED"

there was a dark guy with a red eye but he cudnt see anything else about him

"hello phoenix wright"

"WHO IS U"

"i do not matter. u ar in jale now. have fun"

the man disappeared through the floor

"fuck, this must be castle, i no because i can see the black clouds outside" said phoenix

he walked around the prison cell, but there was nothing to use to escape, just a bed, literally zero escape

he stuck his head out between the bars and saw blixem in jale next to him

"damn how do i get to u" said phoenix and then he fell out because the bars were too wide "oh thats how lol"

phoenix went into blixems jale and told him theyd get out

but blixem was too big to get through the bars

"hmmmm" tought phoenix "how to get out... OH I KNOW TAKE THAT"

he took out the bomb he got in chapter 3 and stuck it to the wall and it blew the wall up

there wasnt anywhere to go in that place since there werent any doors so they jumped out and landed on the clouds and they ran back to santa

"hey santa i got blixem"

"YES" shouted santa "now we got 8 reindeer, we just got rudolph left, but where can he be?"

"theres only ONE place where he can be" said phoenix

TO BE CONTINUED, IN THE LAST CHAPTER


	10. rudolph

PHOENIX WRIGHT VS SANTA CLAUS

FINAL CHAPTER

6:00AM

RUDOLPH

they ran up to the clouds and brought dasher dancer prancer vixem comet cupid donner i mean donder and blixem with them

the 8 reindeer charged at the red light thing and it broke

"ho ho HOOOOOO" laughed santa "we can go in now"

"YYYYYYYES" shouted phoenix "NO ESCAPE NOW HARRY, UR GETTING THE CRAP BEATEN OUT OF YOU"

they ran in and the doors closed bhind them

there were suits of armor everywhere, except they were ALIVE NIGHTS

they all attacked them with sords, gud thing phoenix learned how to fite these guys from professor layton

he got in fite an kick one of tehm in the dick so he cud steal its wepon and sliced them all dead, santa helped too cause he squished them all flat

"wow harry made these guys alive" said phoenix "at least this time the magic was real so it makes sense"

they went into the throne room but noone was there, but they did see the sleigh next to the throne

"my buety" shouted santa "i am reonioned with u at last"

"ahh gay or thingphiliac or uhhhh what?"

"oh sorry" said santa

he went to get out but the sleigh suddenly FLEW INTO THE ROOF making him leave

"oh no." said phoenix

phoenix ran out of the thrown room and to the stairs and climbed them, there was a door with a blue switch that required 4 people to stand on to open the door but fuck the rules he was an intruder, so he broke the door down

then he ran across the bridge to a really tall tower and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it and climbed it until he finally got to the top

"ok damn whyd he have to make it this tall"

he saw noone was there but there was a door outside to the balcony and someone was there

he went there but got stopped by a robot with a red eye

"YOUR THE GUY"

"YES"

they fought

phoenix won

ok next

phoenix ran out to the balcony and saw a guy with a cloak with his back facing him and a fat man next to him and rudolph was above dem in that light ting prancer was in

"jesus" said the cloaked guy not turning "u kept steeling all my reindeers dat made me stronger u asshole"

"wy u want them"

"cause without them im weak" he said "wait fuck i shudnt have said that"

"who ar u"

"i am teh master who is..."

he turned around

"HARRY POTTER"

"WHAAAAAAT"

"YES" shouted harry "I TRICKED U BY TALKING ABOUT ME IN THIRD PERSON SOMETIMES, EVEN THOSE IDIOTS BLACK AND WHITE WERE TRICKED BY IT, NOW IM GONNA not fite you"

"what"

"GET HIM SANTA"

the fat man was santa and he ran at phoenix

"WHAT ARE U DOING" shouted phoenix

"IM DOING DIS TO PROTECT RUDOLPH" shouted santa

santa jumped into his sleigh and grabbed a gun out of his sack and shot at phoenix

phenix ran around the balcony not getting shot cause thats bad

"WHY"

"cause harry will releese rudolph once he gets power from all the reindeers cause he wont need em any more" said santa

bang bang bang

and then the gun ran out of bullets

"fuck" said santa reaching into his sack

thats when phoenix ran at him to kick him in the fat

BUT SANTA CAUGHT HIM AND SHOOK HIM AND ALLLL THE REINDEERS FLEW OUT AND AROUND THE ROOM LIKE IN WARIO LAND SHAKE IT AND HE THREW PHOENIX TO THE WALL IN THE BACK

"HA HA" laughed harry "now give me em"

santa gave harry the reindeer and they gave him magic and he WASNT A LITTLE LESS THAN PATHETIC ANY MORE

HE WAS VERY POWERFUL HARRY WITH MAGIC POWERS BETTER THAN HIS NORMAL ONES

"hoh... HOOOOO HOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" hoed harry the evil santa claus and he put on a black santa hat to show he had powers of santa "THIS GONNA BE A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS INDEED" he shouted

a black sack appeared in his hand and he took out a baseball bat and hit santa into the wall with phoenix and they both fell off the wall to the floor

"NO NEED 4 RAINDEER ANY MORE" shouted harry and he kicked them all to them

then harry went to destroy los angeles

"HARRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE"

he charged a giant laser from his mouth redy to blow the shit out of everyone up

"fuuuck watre we gonna do" said phoenix

just then alllll teh reindeers woke up to rudolfs red shiny nose they used to laugh at cause it brought back funny memories

and theyr laughin cures cancer, which means it also cures minor injuries like phoenixs and santas

so they got up and ran at harry

"AAAAAAAAAH WAT" shouted harry

"YEAH, WERE GONNA STOP THAT LASER"

"HA, NEVER" shouted harry and he blew and THE ENTIRE PLACE FILLED WITH SNOW

"NOW" shotued harry on top of the snow hill "LETS BILD A SNOWMAN"

and he bilt a big one with an evil face and a rotten carrot

the snowman rolled its head off its body and its body and head rolled around and harry balanced himself on top of the body as t rolled around tryin to crush pheenix and santa

"dis is bad" shouted santa running around and because of all his running he burned lots of fat and the burning fat cells fell off his body and heated up the snow and it melted

"WH-WHAT HOW DOES THAT WORK" shouted harry in confusion and he went to blow but it was too hot now thanks to santas exercise

phoenix kicked harry in the face after jumping up to him and he got crushed lots of times by the snowball until it melted

"DAMMIT" shouted harry "THIS"

and he pranced around the balcony away from phoenix and santa every time and sometimes did dance to mock them

"hes just trollin us hes not even fiting" said phoenix

"ho, lets go different ways" said santa

so santa went left phoenix went right and ran to harry and jumped but he ran past and they hit each other in the face

"ok lets try that again"

they tried it again and grabbed harry and hit and hit and hit and hit

"OWWWWWWW, DATS ENOUGH CRAPPING" shouted harry

he summoned thunder and litening around the place it kept liteninging until the balcony broke and they fell onto the clouds

and the litening energyed harry into LITENING HARRY WHO HAD THE LITENING SHEELD IN SONIC 3 & KNUCKLES, AND LOTS OF RINGS WERE ATTRACTED TO HIM MAKING STRONGER SHEELD

"FUUUUUCK" shouted santa "we cant hit him"

"THEN WAT WE DO"

"I DONT KNOW"

they ran from harry who kept throwing rings at them while they thought what to do

they ran to the slay and phoenix got an idea, so he jumped into the sleigh and into the sack and got alllll the bois and grils presents finding something useful

and he found everything

PHOENIX JUMPED OUT AND BUILT GIANT WEAPON AND ARMOR AND STUFF OUT OF TOYS AND GAMES AND CLOTHES AND STUFF, AND MADE A GIANT SANTA CLAUS CARDBOARD GIANT (like those things in mario and luigi vs paper mario)

he and santa climbed onto it and all the toys became alive like in toi story and helped phoenix, normally the rules say tois cant be alive with humans around (they say that in the first toi stroy i THINK but if not its a rule now) and ran at harry

"u stupid tois, i am harry potter, u cannot beet me"

"yea we can" said woodie "caus harry potter is a weak bitch without his reindeer"

"BUT I ALREDY HAVE MY REINDEER"

"NO U DONT" shouted phoenix "UR POWER GONNA DIE"

"NO"

they attacked at harry breaking all the rings away, he tried to shoot rings at the santa but it did nothing but a few scratches

the cut through all the rings and threw a giant cardboard sack at the sheeld making it disappear, and the santa attakced harry over and over nocking him to the ground

"AAAAAGH MY POWERS NEERLY GONE" shouted harry "MOAR REINDEER"

but phoenix had the reindeer and he let them all out

dasher used his dashing thing to make lots of reindeer dash at harry

dancer danced on harry

prancer pranced at harry

vixen summoned giant evil judge to gavel harry

comet became and comet and it landed on harry burning him

cupid shot harry with a normal arrow cause he deserves no love (wow isnt that deep?)

donder blew up harrys ears with loud thunder

blixem shot lightning on harry making his head go woahwoooahwooooooah and his face like O_O

and rudolph charged his red nose and it shot light at him and it BLEW HIM OFF THE CLOUDS AND INTO GUMSHOES ARMS

he coughed showing he was alive and got arrested

===7:00AM===

===DA NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS===

"thank u mah boi, tank to u i got my reindeer back, and i shud have enough time to get all the presents before the bois and grils wake up, hopefully, ill just cast magic to make sure they dont wake up til 9, they wont mind" said santa "u have my, no, evryones tanks, especially the parents getting more sleep"

"yay" said phoenix

santa got in his sleigh

"DASHER DANCER PRANCER VIXEM COMET CUPID DONDER BLIXEM RUDOLPH, I REMEMBERD ALL UR NAMES DIS TIME, SO LETS FLY"

they all flyed into the sky and santa dropped all the presents into the chimeys quickly

and he disappear into the morning sky, if it was still night his blackness would be seen on the moon but we dont get that, but we did hear him go "HOOO HOOOOO HOOOOOOOO" so thats cool

apollo came home, jesus came too to celebrate his birthday with his pal phoenix wright, and he brought ahlbi too

"bokuto whys ur name ahlbi" said phoenix cause thats what he called him in krazy kurain adventures

"its my localized name"

"oh ok"

they all slept until 9AM when they all woke up and got their presents

apollo got an im fine thing

athena got a moon rock

maya got a spirit in a bottle

pearl got a pearl

jesus got another bible and also a cross because it was his birthday too

ahlbi got a map of los angeles so he could be ur'gaide

iamawrighter got a boxing glove-in-a-box punched him in the face, and broke after so he couldnt use it on other peeple

but phoenix got the best present

he got golden statues of himself and santa claus pointing in objection so he would never forget his adventures with him

also, harry got a guilty verdict, which is exactly what he deserves

THE END

MARY CHRISTMAS MAH BOIS

===EPILOGUE===

"ho ho ho marv" said harry (NOT potter) quietly "what did i tell ya"

"that this would be a merry christmas" said marv

"oohhhhh yes..." he said as he grinned down at the present which was exactly what he wished for

NOW ITS THE END


End file.
